Many people try to find happiness and I often wonder why. Where is happiness? Is it lost?
Happiness is not something that you have to search for. Happiness is within you.
Here is why I say that. We spend our lives looking for the right person and sometimes we find them but still end up being unhappy. We spend an enormous amount of time trying to fulfill the material desires of this life and still end up unfulfilled.
Our lives are spent searching for something that was right in front of us or within us all along.
Where does one start to be happy? Here is my two cents in the matter.
What is Happiness?
Have you ever asked yourself what is happiness? Did you find the answer?
I honestly believe that happiness is a sense of well being. Here are a list of things that make up happiness:
- self acceptance
- self esteem
- self confidence
- contentment
How do you acquire the elements that make up happiness
Several years ago I suffered greatly through depression, low self confidence and so forth. I felt like my life was going nowhere and that I was worth nothing. I felt alone and unloved. I tried to fill my void with many things especially being infatuated with someone whom I would not otherwise want to be with.
At this point in my life nothing seemed to be working and no matter what I tried, failed.
I attempted suicide on December 15, 2005. Even though I lived my depression got worse. The good thing about the attempt was that I decided that somehow God didn’t want me to die, but the awful thing was that I thought it was my fate to suffer.
I was working in an environment that fed my depression because of the turmoil associated with the environment and the people. One day I decided I had enough! I walked off the job, a business that I was trying to acquire for whatever mad reason.
I went back to teach nutrition and biology at The Jamaica Self Defense Academy where I taught before. As an instructor in Martial Arts, Weight Training and Aerobics I had to resume my own training regimen.
I was not only a teacher and instructor but I was assistant to the Manager and Director. My role was Office Manager and Coordinator.
The slow change
I went back to a job that I had done exceptionally well before and I was failing in my capacity. I did everything wrong. I had no direction and had no clue what was happening to me. The more I tried the more I failed.
But the more I trained and focused in my martial art class the more discipline and determination I developed. Slowly I started seeing positive changes in the way I did things at work. As my confidence in myself grew so did my self worth and self esteem.
Meditation and relaxation played a great role in helping me to gain control of my inner self. I didn’t take everything too personally now, I could listen to a joke and not feel self conscious that it was about me.
I began to set goals and accomplish them. These are some of the goals I set
- work related tasks for each day. I had a schedule before but somehow I couldn’t focus.
- Training related goals in terms of fitness level and weight loss. I was not very overweight but I wanted to regain a former look I had.
- Personal goals such as things I wanted to achieve. I wanted to move back to the country. I wanted to complete some additional courses.I wanted to work from home and I wanted to make money online.
All these helped to build my confidence in my self as I saw that I could succeed. I wasn’t a failure like I thought before.
The result
No one can make you happy but you. If you are unhappy and alone, I would say, stay away from getting involved with someone until you find peace within yourself. When you are happy then you can have a happy relationship. If you are unhappy you will have an unhappy marriage, love life, friendship or work relationship.
When you can bring out the happiness in you, you will see the world as a happier place. Your energy will attract happy people. Your aura will portray your happiness and people will want to be around you.
Money cannot buy happiness. It can give you stuff and security. If you cannot be happy without it then the happiness you have because of it is just an illusion.
There will be moments in your happy life that will bring sadness and grief but that cannot take away your peace.
Finding your true self
Here are some ways in which people find their true self
- Meditation
- Exercise
- Reading the bible or attending church
- Getting in touch with nature
- Talking to a counselor
- Yoga
- Focusing on their positives and strengths
- Enjoying the little things in life
There might be more things you can do but this article was written from personal experience and these are the methods I know. You might nit be religious but don’t let that stop you. Find ways that relax your and bring you in balance with your inner self.
Building back yourself
It’s like re-inventing yourself. You were once carefree and happy. Maybe the last time was when you were a baby or a child. Sometimes it takes tiny steps to get back your happy self but it is worth it.
Here are some things I did to re-invent myself:
- Set goals and accomplish them. These aren’t huge, they are tiny short term tasks that are easy to accomplish. After a while you start to set bigger goals.
- Change of environment. Not everyone can do this. But if you work in a volatile environment you probably need to change it. You may also need to change where you live.
- I changed my career path. I knew what I was doing was not what I wanted to do so decided to do what gave me complete satisfaction
- I changed my appearance. If you are over-weight then lose a few pounds. I guarantee you will start to feel better about yourself.
- Change your lifestyle. In my case I changed my eating habits. I used to eat crap when I felt down and not eat at all when I felt worse. It was really weird eating habit for some days I would eat nothing and other days I binged on cheesecake and ice cream. I started eating my five tiny meals: breakfast of protein, carbs and fruits; snack of yogurt; lunch would be protein, carbs and veges; snack of fruit; dinner protein and veges. Not only did I naturally increase my metabolic rate, I felt healthier and had more energy.
- Sleep came easier as I relaxed more and got healthier mentally and physically and I took advantage of it. I remember sleeping so much that I started to worry. But a friend reminded me that when I was depressed I could not sleep. Every time I slept afterwards I would feel rejuvenated.
- I took care of myself. When you are unhappy or depressed you don’t care how you look. Taking extra care of your appearance will help you feel better about yourself too. I began to see myself as beautiful again.
No one could do all that for me and no one can make me happy but me. You have to find that within yourself. You need to determine the cause of your unhappiness and fix it. If you think you are unhappy because you are lonely then the solution is not to find someone but to be able to be happy with yourself.