The irritability; lack of interest in some things I used to love; impatience with all things petty; lack of focus on some things and obsession with others; the sudden burst into tears or feeling of wanting to cry makes me realize that all the losses I have faced have not been dealt with.
I didn’t say goodbye or saw anyone of my family who passed away just before they died. My grandfather died in England and I didn’t get to attend the funeral. My brother’s body has not been found so there was no funeral. I missed my uncles funeral because no one told me in time.
Dear diary, how much more of this can I take? When will I get past all this hurt?
I try to take it one day at a time but some days are worse than others. Please, diary tell me what to do. I know I can’t go on like this.
I try to place my anger at the people responsible for my brother’s demise, I try to place that anger constructively but I don’t think that I am doing a great job at it.
Sometimes I feel a soreness where my heart is suppose to be and I feel like I can’t breathe. I know it’s not physical. I know a panic attack when I feel it and I try to calm myself but it’s so hard.
Dear diary, help me!